I had a hunch when you walked in,
that you had an ulterior motive from the beginning.
I was an open book and you I trusted,
but you were taking notes and were lusted.
I gave it a chance more than thrice,
but you know what they say
that you should learn after so many times.
I had my fair share with the narcissists ,
but it was easy to realize as they didn’t resist.
No third person would ever get the hint,
but I knew that something was wrong behind the mist.
I didn’t shy away to confront,
but you always denied the facts as if I was nuts.
You claimed it was the friendship that you want ,
but your manipulation tainted the relation from the start.
You convinced me that you are there for me as a rock,
but whenever I hit rock-bottom,
Your walk did not follow your talk.
I am grateful that I listened to my intuition,
Which now feels like dodging a bullet by that decision.
Few days before we talked, while you were boasting,
but all I could think was
that you were a wolf in a sheep’s clothing.
My coldness is evident,
It is so unlikely of me to not care,
But this is how my body and soul react,
To reach that point of dead end
After so many failed attempts.
You are leaving today to be at another place,
But for me you already moved out
On that night of year end.
I always fall for it,
your shallow concerns
and intentional gestures.
There is no why,
I just fall for it.
Pathetic, Isn’t it?
But I do fall for it
lesser and lesser,
with each passing second.
I do get convinced
more and more
with more self love discovered;
That you are not the destiny ,
but you are just a subplot
that strengthens the fact
that I am the lead.
In the universe, on the planet,
on the continent,in the
most isolated city,
in the apartment,
on the bed.
Wide awake near 3am.
What do you imagine I feel,
Sad? Scared? Lonely?
I think it’s the singularity ,
The chaos of being
In this vast,
Not even try to define – ness
That’s what I feel.
Cure for being alone ?
I think alone is the antidote.
I am not longing
to reach anyone,
Coz I know no-one
That can be reached.
It is a strange world and stranger is the today’s Love;
We want someone independent,
But we cringe when they refuse to be vulnerable.
We want someone sensitive and loving,
But we label them needy when they tell us what we mean to them.
We want someone Loyal,
But we get easily bored by the stability.
We want someone unique,
But we get intimidated by the difference.
We want someone daring and wild to showoff in our posts,
But we lack guts to say what we mean and prefer to ghost.
We want to be understood ,
but we do not intend to get out of our narrow bubble.
We want real connection,
But we lack the patience to have real communication.
We want to be treated right,
But we fail to give what we desire.
We definitely want to be loved,
But we conveniently ignore the key to receive love.
We accept it or not, we strongly desire nurturing and healthy relations. Maybe we need to look inside rather than finding reasons outside.
In the light of whatever is going on right now in the world, I want to reflect on the dialogue that we all must have been part of or at least witnessed ( in real or/and virtual world).
Person A: Says something disrespectful and inappropriate.
Person B: Shows their disappointment and disapproval.
Person A: “I was just joking, don’t be too sensitive. Haha…”
Person B(Reply 1 of N): Silent. [Question their own reaction and convince themselves that they are overreacting]
Person B(Reply 2 of N): Speaks up because it matters. [ Are firm about their position ]
A( About B’s reply 1): Yes! I am right. [Deep inside gets the message that I can go on being inappropriate and just defend myself by calling it “light humor”]
A(About B’s reply 2): Gets insecure when their shit is being called out and label the person B as aggressive and too emotional rather than doing some self analysis.
I do not feel that I need to explain the dialogue but it is definitely indicating to one fact:
“This is the era of wrongly supposed Synonyms.”
- Inappropriate = Humor
- Assertive = Aggressive
- Self respect = Arrogant / stubborn
- Sensible = Too emotional
- Moral = politically correct
- Polite = Available
- Gender free love = Experimenting/ Lifestyle
- Knowing what you want = High Maintenance
- Clothes length = Scale [ Prude <-> Slut]
- Philosophical = Over-analyzing / Waste of time
The list goes on…
I do not have a concluding message . I guess from this, People will take whatever they are capable of .
The question that puzzles me is,
what does being honest and brave means?
Does it mean for you to face your reality?
Or Does it mean for you to fake normality?
This makes me wonder
what exactly is normality?
Is it getting help to cope with your experiences in healthy ways,
Or is it getting intoxicated to go through passing days?
Why is this stigma about admitting your struggles,
When unhealthy coping mechanism just keep you in a bubble.
How does it make sense to fear someone’s sooth,
when others are using deceit to hide their truth.
Who should be actually feared?
Someone who admits their reality,
Or the ones hiding their true nature behind “Normality”.
Core: Majority of the people who suffers from mental illness are the ones getting abused and not the other way around. Labeling people by term ‘crazy’ or ‘mental’ or ‘Psycho’ who are struggling with mental health but brave enough to get help and talk about it is not the best way to deal with such delicate situation. It is our role as the present and future of this world to create a more humane and kind environment by not just posting support and positivism online but also by practicing it in real life in real situations.