May, 2022

When I was given the gift of togetherness, I rejoiced.
Being in the vicinity of people I know, it reminded me of myself.
When they embraced me with their loving warmth, I remembered that I was lovable after all.
When I was leaving them, their reluctance, their heavy heart reminded me, that my existence mattered.

All the times, I was made to feel worthless, they are now fading away.
All the times, I believed that I deserved hurt, are becoming a memory of a nightmare.

In these years, I gradually forgot who I was and what I was capable of.

Surround yourself with no-one, if the other option is to surround yourself with people who would prefer if you forget your worth.

I won’t say that I learned the hard way, I would say I learned through the only way I would have learned, considering the set of circumstances I was given in this existence.

These words, my experience doesn’t have to be relevant to everyone, doesn’t have to be relevant at all but I do feel that I have reached a point, where I am comfortable expressing myself, articulating my thoughts, valuing my experience with it being relevant to no-one.

There is so much that exist as me, which I don’t understand yet. But it’s alright, there exists 95% of the spacetime that we don’t understand, we can’t even try to articulate it’s form, properties. Maybe it’s the 95% of the same thing, which makes me, and hence I don’t understand it. Dark matter, dark energy, soul, spirit, etc etc.

Sometimes I think this is a dream, somedays I am sure of it. Even if this is a dream, how does it makes any difference. Dreams are so visceral that we can’t tell that it’s a dream till we wake up from it. We can only know when it ends, either the dream or the reality. At least it ends, so that we can know. At least if something ends, something new can start.
Let’s see





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