DO NOT hold the door

I let you in,
And I kept the door open.
At first, it was by choice,
but later on, it became a default
It was out of compulsion
It became something I could not/would not control.

The helplessness of the situation became too unbearable,
And I made myself believe, that it was my choice.
I gave reasons, justifications, to why, I kept the door open.

Behind the scenes, I was working on building my strength again, I was working on remembering myself.

I did close the door partially, but with a hope, that closing it a little would make a statement, but keeping it open meant, the chance of amendments.

Back of mind, I could realize the absurdity of my logic, of my hopeless hopefulness.
And nothing I was doing, was giving me any relief, and my very hope was smothering me.

Fortunately, the work behind the scenes showed its result,
And in a snatch of a moment,
I closed the door shut.

Was it to make a statement?
Perhaps

Was it to punish you?
No

It is not a punishment to you, but the reinforcement, I considered myself too afraid of;
And turns out, the very thing I was afraid to do, was the thing I needed to.

2 thoughts on “DO NOT hold the door

  1. The last line says it all, being unable to choose what is needed for our well-being is the choice we are afraid of and not able to act on.But i am proud of you for listening to your inner strength and your belief in yourself to take the necessary action.

    Liked by 1 person

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