The Extraordinary Vessel

The Body knows what is good for it. It knows when there is a need for food, water, warmth, by making the stomach ache, throat dry, hair stand on the skin and jaw shiver. It detects the parasitic attack on your body by making the skin itch, body temperature rise, eyes to water and nose to sneeze. It is so attuned to the environment that it can detect a threat outside and take necessary actions to protect the life. It may run and hide or it prepares to defend against the possible attack.

In the larger terms, the body make sure that the species survive by motivating, reinforcing and sometimes flat out pushing reproduction. As in the case of women’s menstrual cycle, the hormones secreted and the internal biology is aiming for one goal, one most important goal at least in the term of a human body is the fertilization of the egg that is released along the cycle. The hormones estrogen, progesterone and testosterone are released at the specific time and in specific amount to regulate the body to reproduce. A manipulation of the internal chemistry to encourage fertilization during the time span of the release of the egg/eggs and making the internal chemistry a little hostile when the body knows that fertilization is not achieved better known as Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS).

Our body is extremely intelligent and capable of self regulation. We do not have to do awful lot to sustain it, it just needs support to stay intelligent. It can function to its optimal capacity if we eat well, sleep well and exercise well. In prehistoric times, eating well was easy and a natural choice because whatever food source available in the environment was natural, not adulterated and the over indulgence was not the way of prehistoric humans. Settlements encourage humans to have more food than necessary, the life of travelling and exploring does not lead to over indulgence, accumulation and storage of resources. As the settlement increased and civilizations begin, accumulation of resources including food started and then came the food processing.

Human’s body and organs have not evolved anatomically in a larger scale since 10,000 years, so considering that we have inherited out prehistoric ancestor’s bodies, the more natural the food is, the better support it gives to the body to function. The more processed the food is, the more alien it is for the body and less it can metabolize it.

Getting enough rest is absolutely a defining factor for the body to start again every day with full capacity and reach its potential. Overworking the body without rest is not the sustainable way for a body to stay intelligent. Going back again to our ancestors, we can intuitively tell that their way of life had a lot of physical work including gathering food and going places by foot. To get more restful sleep, it may not be too far fetched to think that to get a body to exhaust to a restful sleep, we need to carry out physical activities to make our body feel that it can take the well deserving rest at the end of the day.

One factor that did not play a dramatic role in our ancestor’s lives was stress. They did face life or death situations that caused fight or flight responses which was necessary stress for the body’s survival but the body went back to the normal relaxed state after removal of the threat. Now is a different story, we are triggering our body into stress by merely our perceptions of the outer world. It can just be a person that is not a physical threat to us but mentally is associated as threat, therefore triggering a fight or flight response. It can be work, relationships or a memory that puts you in the stressed state. When our bodies stay in these prolonged state of stress, the result is disease, allergies, mental health issues and overall hostile internal environment.

It is so crucial for the stress to be managed as stress may hamper the other factors mentioned before as well. Stress impacts the eating tendencies, motivation to do physical activities and sleep patterns to put it most simply. The stress level impacts the chemistry of the body, immune system and organ function that holds us back from having a flourishing life on this earth.

1984 and Brave New World: First Impression

Both of the Novels, 1984 and Brave New World are engaging fictional stories that discusses crucial concepts of governance, power, control, society and the individuals subjected to it. The art of story-telling is absolutely at its peak in both of these books. As children, story books were the most entertaining way to learn and understand moralistic ideas, principles and in general workings of life, these two stories and their writers prove how story-telling can actually shape ideas in an individual and sometimes whole societies as well.

When I think about these stories, the first theme that pops up in the mind is the human and its desires. These desires when suppressed as in case of 1984 and when over indulged as in Brave New World, takes the story forward. We can see how the Character’s thoughts, feelings, words, actions and behaviors are influenced and motivated by their various human desires. The strongest of these desires is the desire for survival, sexual intimacy, avoidance of pain, social acceptance and power.

Rather than talking about the type of governance and structure of the society for the universe of these novels, I want to focus on the crucial element that is the root of these stories to go from unpleasant to the dystopia that they are. It is less the matter of what is subjected but more the who and how the subject is.The most villainous plot is to use the human biology and psychology against humans and the collective. Control is established by taking advantage of and abusing the common workings of a human being.

When I say common workings of a human being, I mean that even if we are pretty unique individually but the archetypal needs are similar in all of us. We all have same categories of needs even if the content may be different. These basic needs are well defined by Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The desire for love and intimacy, our tendency to avoid unpleasant outcomes and scenarios and the need to feel safe. It is our innate desire to avoid pain and fears, our desire to feel included and yet hold on to our individuality to the extent that it is socially acceptable.

In both 1984 and Brave New World, through both hedonism and brute force and fear; the variable that doesn’t change is the human and its needs. Its reactive state, desires and the by default biological and psychological tendencies. The control over the human and the society is established in both of these dystopia by the knowledge, manipulation and exploitation of human biology and psychology.


Resisting the pain to try and remain sane

makes me more hollow than it saves.

Like the Half broken glass there is more damage than gain,

At least the completely shattered glass shine on the lane.

Breaking down to reach rock bottom

I consider, is a blessing

Laying on the ground, my roots are what I see.

Their core is the substance of my being

and their strength lets the life flow through me;

Now I break down too often without resisting the pain,

And I make my foundation deeper and safe.

So the house of cards may tumble by the hint of breeze

but I will stay strong and hold my ground

when the storms outside screech. 



person sitting on seashore overlooking cathedral
Photo by Fábio Luís on


What’s the term for fear of wasting time?

I just tried to search a word for fear of wasting time, I had no luck though;maybe it does not exist and if anyone knows the term then please do comment.

I always think that the kind of search history we have define what is going in our minds. Now my attempt to search the word for fear of wasting time naturally came from what I am experiencing. It is so annoying when your mind tells you how you have failed to live up-to the day,How you could have read something, meditated more, exercised more, created more, made more progress on your job applications or simply have been “more productive”.

Personally for me these are the times where I start questioning my worth and my capabilities.These are the times I feel fake or that I am wasting my potential. Now about wasted potential ,I will write whole another post because it deserves its own spotlight.

So it’s a fact that human life is limited, no matter how much I would like to pretend that it won’t be in my case; talk about being delusional! Watching The Originals to much I guess, now someone reading would say that maybe that’s why she feels unproductive…


Whenever I am reminded by something, someone or myself about mortality, it’s panic lane from there. Everything becomes about urgency, even I breathe with urgency and that is soooooo stupid, because I do not reach anywhere peaceful with that kind of urgency and panic.

Talking about urgency, I have never been a part of corporate world but when I see people going to jobs with their suits, dresses and appropriateness, it scares me. It’s the dread that I feel whenever I think about being part of something like that. To be honest I fear that if I become part of something and I find out that I am miserable and dread every morning to do it all over again, I know myself enough to say that I would consider that as well a waste of my time.

I think there is no antidote to such basefull fear because it’s natural to want more time. Though I think it will get better if I do things that calms me rather than create a panic in me, because I can’t imagine to have a one known life and using it away to only earn a living and I think the term as well is wrong. If you are earning a living then how come the life becomes only about living to earn.

That brings me to a wondering that maybe I do not fear about the quantity of time but the quality of time I live. And that I guess will be covered in the fear of wasted potential blog.

P. S: Writing calms me down and is my therapy and my wish for you all is that you have something like that too to unwind and relax. And my bigger wish is that your day doesn’t need unwinding at all.

All love 💜


The gravity of your life is

already enough to bare,

Yet you are carrying the stress

of people for you cared;

You were connected tight,

but are now stranger in spite.

Yes, They enhanced your life once,

but it only repress your well being today.

It feels impossible to let go, I know;

But to hold on is like watering

a dead plant that wont grow.

Be kind to yourself and

say your goodbyes in silence,

Wish them the best and

Unburden yourself from the plighting.

red and blue abstract painting
Photo by Darwis Alwan on


A Wolf in a Sheep’s Clothing

I had a hunch when you walked in,

that you had an ulterior motive from the beginning.

I was an open book and you I trusted,

but you were taking notes and were lusted.

I gave it a chance more than thrice,

but you know what they say

that you should learn after so many times.

I had my fair share with the narcissists ,

but it was easy to realize as they didn’t resist.

No third person would ever get the hint,

but I knew that something was wrong behind the mist.

I didn’t shy away to confront,

but you always denied the facts as if I was nuts.

You claimed it was the friendship that you want ,

but your manipulation tainted the relation from the start.

You convinced me that you are there for me as a rock,

but whenever I hit rock-bottom,

Your walk did not follow your talk.

I am grateful that I listened to my intuition,

Which now feels like dodging a bullet by that decision.

Few days before we talked, while you were boasting,

but all I could think  was

that you were a wolf in a sheep’s clothing.

blur calm waters dawn daylight
Photo by Gabriela Palai on

Moving Out

My coldness is evident,

It is so unlikely of me to not care,

But this is how my body and soul react,

To reach that point of dead end

After so many failed attempts.

You are leaving today to be at another place,

But for me you already moved out

On that night of year end.

alone animal bird clouds
Photo by Gabriela Palai on

The Lead

I always fall for it,

your shallow concerns

and intentional gestures.

There is no why,

I just fall for it.

Pathetic, Isn’t it?

But I do fall for it

lesser and lesser,

with each passing second.

I do get convinced

more and more

with more self love discovered;

That you are not the destiny ,

but you are just a subplot

that strengthens the fact

that I am the lead.

barefoot beach blur break
Photo by on

3 am

In the universe, on the planet,
on the continent,in the
most isolated city,
in the apartment,
on the bed.
Wide awake near 3am.
What do you imagine I feel,
Sad? Scared? Lonely?
I think it’s the singularity ,
The individuality,
The chaos of being
In this vast,
Not even try to define – ness
That’s what I feel.
Cure for being alone ?
I think alone is the antidote.
So no,
I am not longing
to reach anyone,
Coz I know no-one
That can be reached.