“A Life To Live”

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Our average life span in this human body is around 69-71 years which I hope would increase with medical advancement, research and better living conditions.

‘To live’ is very different than to just exist in this universe. To live is completely different than mechanically pass the seconds, hours, days, months, even years. I don’t know about others but I feel disappointed every time I look back to an ending year and cannot recollect times when I felt significantly alive, when I felt lucky to be present on this beautiful planet earth.

I have to admit that I had misconception about the term ‘to live’ or ‘to feel alive’. I honestly thought and believed that living includes only the part of life where I am smiling, laughing, feeling passionate, spending time with loved ones, having the blissful moments of being loved and to love.

I guess it’s no one’s fault to feel that way as we all are influenced by our surrounding world. Sadly our world has stereotypical viewpoint towards the terms ‘to live’ or ‘to feel alive’, which impacts our thought process.

From my experience, the times when I am absolutely miserable are the times I feel most alive… But how is that? You may ask.

Those are the times when importance of breathing becomes more apparent as my heart feels heavier than a rock and the gravity has more value and power that works best to keep me down on my bed. It even makes it impossible to get up and have a glass of water myself.  

Those unbearable moments seem to amplify and do not seem to follow universal laws of time. It sounds a horrible place to be at but if I see those times from an unbiased eye, as a third person, I realize that in those moments, I built my strength and courage. I fought hard to live even if it seemed pointless. It made me resilient and it made me who I am: A fighter and a survivor.  

I am fan of all the easy, rewarding moments of my life but the times that broke me are the real heroes and inspiration that made me feel pain but made me realize that I exist. They shook me hard but to make me even sturdier. 

Maybe we should all stop running from the painful, lonely, discomforting moments of life because these will only build our characters and make us more grateful of what we have: “A life to live”  

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