The Lead

I always fall for it,

your shallow concerns

and intentional gestures.

There is no why,

I just fall for it.

Pathetic, Isn’t it?

But I do fall for it

lesser and lesser,

with each passing second.

I do get convinced

more and more

with more self love discovered;

That you are not the destiny ,

but you are just a subplot

that strengthens the fact

that I am the lead.

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3 am

In the universe, on the planet,
on the continent,in the
most isolated city,
in the apartment,
on the bed.
Wide awake near 3am.
What do you imagine I feel,
Sad? Scared? Lonely?
I think it’s the singularity ,
The individuality,
The chaos of being
In this vast,
Not even try to define – ness
That’s what I feel.
Cure for being alone ?
I think alone is the antidote.
So no,
I am not longing
to reach anyone,
Coz I know no-one
That can be reached.

We make Love a Dilemma

It is a strange world and stranger is the today’s Love;

We want someone independent,

But we cringe when they refuse to be vulnerable.

We want someone sensitive and loving,

But we label them needy when they tell us what we mean to them.

We want someone Loyal,

But we get easily bored by the stability.

We want someone unique,

But we get intimidated by the difference.

We want someone daring and wild to showoff in our posts,

But we lack guts to say what we mean and prefer to ghost.

We want to be understood ,

but we do not intend to get out of our narrow bubble.

We want real connection,

But we lack the patience to have real communication.

We want to be treated right,

But we fail to give what we desire.

We definitely want to be loved,

But we conveniently ignore the key to receive love.

 

We accept it or not, we strongly desire nurturing and healthy relations. Maybe we need to look inside rather than finding reasons outside.

All Love.

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Synonyms=Antonyms ?

In the light of whatever is going on right now in the world, I want to reflect on the dialogue that we all must have been part of or at least witnessed ( in real or/and virtual world).

Person A: Says something disrespectful and inappropriate.

Person B: Shows their disappointment and disapproval.

Person A: “I was just joking, don’t be too sensitive. Haha…”

Person B(Reply 1 of N): Silent. [Question their own reaction and convince themselves that they are overreacting]

Person B(Reply 2 of N): Speaks up because it matters. [ Are firm about their position ]

A( About B’s reply 1): Yes! I am right. [Deep inside gets the message that I can go on being inappropriate and just defend myself by calling it “light humor”]

A(About B’s reply 2): Gets insecure when their shit is being called out and label the person B as aggressive and too emotional rather than doing some self analysis.

I do not feel that I need to explain the dialogue but it is definitely indicating to one fact:

“This is the era of wrongly supposed Synonyms.”

  • Inappropriate = Humor
  • Assertive = Aggressive
  • Self respect = Arrogant / stubborn
  • Sensible = Too emotional
  • Moral = politically correct
  • Polite = Available
  • Gender free love = Experimenting/ Lifestyle
  • Knowing what you want = High Maintenance
  • Clothes length = Scale [ Prude <-> Slut]
  • Philosophical = Over-analyzing / Waste of time

The list goes on…

I do not have a concluding message . I guess from this, People will take whatever they are capable of .

All Love.

full frame shot of eye
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Follow thy Heart

I swear I can feel that there an ominous vibe to this moment ,

I am falling from up above, it feels like an atonement;

Its hard to tell where I will end up,

I fear the fall is towards the rock bottom beneath.

At first it feels like a permanent depart,

But I have been told that the dark ends are often the starts.

Sure, my mind gets tricked

and is fixated on the uncomfortable part,

But my heart knows better and promises me,

“it will be alright my sweetheart”.

architecture door entrance exit
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18 June 2018

So I watched a movie today, The Incredibles 2. It was an amazing movie with a great story line. While watching the movie a question hit me, What is the one thing common in every superhero or a hero that is the main character of the movie, let it be an animated or real movie. I recollected every movie I have ever seen that had some inspirational message behind it. The qualities that I was brainstorming were superpowers, superhuman abilities, nice costumes, a will to help others, money maybe, strong virtues and morals, sad back story, a passion to make change.

All these seemed the perfect answers, but then it just clicked that it is their belief in self that makes it possible to do things that are seemingly impossible or too hard to be done. I remember a scene from one of my favorite movies, wonder woman . It is when Antiope is training Diana( wonder woman) and says to her, ” YOU KEEP DOUBTING YOURSELF DIANA”. In my opinion its the best dialogue and a turning point of the movie. As Diana starts to believe in herself that she can stop the God of War, she becomes more strong, more sure of her self and her abilities. Yes she had superpowers but she had to first believe in herself and her strength to discover those powers.

We all have tendencies to doubt ourselves, I know I am guilty too for doing it myself. I can completely understand why we are more driven to not trust ourselves. It can be due to setbacks we had, some things that did not go well even after trying and working hard, It can also be the voices of people that made you think that you are not good enough that you are reflecting and subjecting on yourself.

What if we don’t doubt ourselves, our motives, our goals, our values, our capabilities, our strength?

It can all start to change once we begin to be kind to ourselves, give some credit to self for doing what we do everyday. We never know, we can also discover some magical powers  once we have belief in the abilities and strength we have right now to change our lives and world around us.

P.S: My blogs are just about the things I find in my day to be motivated or inspired about.I believe that if it can encourage or gives me perspective then it can be also helpful to someone who reads it. All love.

17 June 2018

After a long time I felt that my good hormones are ruling me and my body. Since a long time I haven’t been  in touch with the child inside me. I didn’t got the chance to explore the playful side of me. It was a different day today and I am proud that I spent it well by just playing.

Australia has different branches of “Timezone” which is a gaming zone for every age group. They have a large options on what your interests are like racing games, skiing games,pinball, basketball, walking dead, virtual reality mini rider and many more.I usually am an uptight person, its just how I am taught to behave but its definitely not that fun at times..most times…So today when I was able to play , I observed that I was completely engrossed in it, I am usually unable to stay in present and always am in future or past but I was present today. All my symptoms like pounding heart, hyperventilation, stained muscles were absent.Just by doing a simple thing, Playing. It felt like I gave myself a therapy and it was an achievement.

I realized that when you inhibit what you really are and what your heart really desire, you and your life become miserable.Then why do we forget to be ourselves and do what we really mean to do. I guess we do it “to fit in”. We don’t want others bad attention, we don’t want to be the odd person out. If my human experience is anything like everyone then I believe, deep inside we don’t really want to be like others but we want to unique and be our own person that wont be replaced by any other.To be content we got to start sticking up to who we really are and what we really feel. I know its easier said that done but it doable and we can help each other to be true to ourselves rather than forcing each other to be a person that makes us feel comfortable but is not genuine.