A Wolf in a Sheep’s Clothing

I had a hunch when you walked in,

that you had an ulterior motive from the beginning.

I was an open book and you I trusted,

but you were taking notes and were lusted.

I gave it a chance more than thrice,

but you know what they say

that you should learn after so many times.

I had my fair share with the narcissists ,

but it was easy to realize as they didn’t resist.

No third person would ever get the hint,

but I knew that something was wrong behind the mist.

I didn’t shy away to confront,

but you always denied the facts as if I was nuts.

You claimed it was the friendship that you want ,

but your manipulation tainted the relation from the start.

You convinced me that you are there for me as a rock,

but whenever I hit rock-bottom,

Your walk did not follow your talk.

I am grateful that I listened to my intuition,

Which now feels like dodging a bullet by that decision.

Few days before we talked, while you were boasting,

but all I could think  was

that you were a wolf in a sheep’s clothing.

blur calm waters dawn daylight
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Moving Out

My coldness is evident,

It is so unlikely of me to not care,

But this is how my body and soul react,

To reach that point of dead end

After so many failed attempts.

You are leaving today to be at another place,

But for me you already moved out

On that night of year end.

alone animal bird clouds
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The Lead

I always fall for it,

your shallow concerns

and intentional gestures.

There is no why,

I just fall for it.

Pathetic, Isn’t it?

But I do fall for it

lesser and lesser,

with each passing second.

I do get convinced

more and more

with more self love discovered;

That you are not the destiny ,

but you are just a subplot

that strengthens the fact

that I am the lead.

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3 am

In the universe, on the planet,
on the continent,in the
most isolated city,
in the apartment,
on the bed.
Wide awake near 3am.
What do you imagine I feel,
Sad? Scared? Lonely?
I think it’s the singularity ,
The individuality,
The chaos of being
In this vast,
Not even try to define – ness
That’s what I feel.
Cure for being alone ?
I think alone is the antidote.
So no,
I am not longing
to reach anyone,
Coz I know no-one
That can be reached.

After Midnight

Tossing and turning but there is  no comfort found,

She lays there after midnight ,

No book, hot tea or  own hug would calm her down.

All there is to feel: A grave sinking disappointment,

By those conversations which drains her dry;

Or Maybe her own sick mind trolling her life.

night building forest trees
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How much she wishes to go to sleep,

To get some relief from this chaotic being.

To go to the dream world is all she asks,

Until the final escape will let her pass.

18 June 2018

So I watched a movie today, The Incredibles 2. It was an amazing movie with a great story line. While watching the movie a question hit me, What is the one thing common in every superhero or a hero that is the main character of the movie, let it be an animated or real movie. I recollected every movie I have ever seen that had some inspirational message behind it. The qualities that I was brainstorming were superpowers, superhuman abilities, nice costumes, a will to help others, money maybe, strong virtues and morals, sad back story, a passion to make change.

All these seemed the perfect answers, but then it just clicked that it is their belief in self that makes it possible to do things that are seemingly impossible or too hard to be done. I remember a scene from one of my favorite movies, wonder woman . It is when Antiope is training Diana( wonder woman) and says to her, ” YOU KEEP DOUBTING YOURSELF DIANA”. In my opinion its the best dialogue and a turning point of the movie. As Diana starts to believe in herself that she can stop the God of War, she becomes more strong, more sure of her self and her abilities. Yes she had superpowers but she had to first believe in herself and her strength to discover those powers.

We all have tendencies to doubt ourselves, I know I am guilty too for doing it myself. I can completely understand why we are more driven to not trust ourselves. It can be due to setbacks we had, some things that did not go well even after trying and working hard, It can also be the voices of people that made you think that you are not good enough that you are reflecting and subjecting on yourself.

What if we don’t doubt ourselves, our motives, our goals, our values, our capabilities, our strength?

It can all start to change once we begin to be kind to ourselves, give some credit to self for doing what we do everyday. We never know, we can also discover some magical powers  once we have belief in the abilities and strength we have right now to change our lives and world around us.

P.S: My blogs are just about the things I find in my day to be motivated or inspired about.I believe that if it can encourage or gives me perspective then it can be also helpful to someone who reads it. All love.

17 June 2018

After a long time I felt that my good hormones are ruling me and my body. Since a long time I haven’t been  in touch with the child inside me. I didn’t got the chance to explore the playful side of me. It was a different day today and I am proud that I spent it well by just playing.

Australia has different branches of “Timezone” which is a gaming zone for every age group. They have a large options on what your interests are like racing games, skiing games,pinball, basketball, walking dead, virtual reality mini rider and many more.I usually am an uptight person, its just how I am taught to behave but its definitely not that fun at times..most times…So today when I was able to play , I observed that I was completely engrossed in it, I am usually unable to stay in present and always am in future or past but I was present today. All my symptoms like pounding heart, hyperventilation, stained muscles were absent.Just by doing a simple thing, Playing. It felt like I gave myself a therapy and it was an achievement.

I realized that when you inhibit what you really are and what your heart really desire, you and your life become miserable.Then why do we forget to be ourselves and do what we really mean to do. I guess we do it “to fit in”. We don’t want others bad attention, we don’t want to be the odd person out. If my human experience is anything like everyone then I believe, deep inside we don’t really want to be like others but we want to unique and be our own person that wont be replaced by any other.To be content we got to start sticking up to who we really are and what we really feel. I know its easier said that done but it doable and we can help each other to be true to ourselves rather than forcing each other to be a person that makes us feel comfortable but is not genuine.