Voices

She see herself in the mirror,
She sees her reflection and she is pretty sure she loathes it.
Why does she feel unworthy of being adored,
Why does she feel unworthy of self-love,
Is it the random comment that points out how her body has changed?
Or is it the specific judgmental voices in her head that seems to be ashamed of her?
Or is it the casual insults used by her loved ones in a “joking way”?
Should she tell them that it bothers her?
Should she tell them that it’s depression that is making her eat uncontrollably?
Should she tell them that she starves herself whole day out of loneliness ?
Should she tell them that she can’t change her genes?
Or should she shut them off as its none of their business?
But what does she tell her inner voices?
Who placed such dialogues in there..
Was it the parent who rejected the 12 year old’s changing body,
Was it the crush who rejected a genuine admirer,
Was it the school teacher that rejected the talent just because of a number on scale of weight or colour.
When did we start treating a child like show stopper,
When did we start berating a child for his or her individuality,
When did we start comparing it with the poster child when in reality the child is an unique perfect creation.
It is time to stop, it is time to think before we say or look at a child,
Because it is watching us, observing us and learning from us.
Strangely it adopts our impression of him and continue to treat himself the way we did.
We are the voices,
Think before you act in front of a child,
Because
As a broken adult she will shut other’s mouth but won’t be easily be able to shut the voices in her head…

The unoriginals…

You take other’s land in the name of exploring and civilizing,
You abuse the originals both
by scarring their bodies
and brain washing their minds
to make them feel inferior,
But now you want boundary warriors to take the right of people;
The right to go to any part of this planet
irrespective of race, gender, language and education;
The right that you discovered for yourself but now keeping it in a museum unknown.
The past won’t forget, the present won’t forgive
but your future will be horrific because
your victories will be built on graves of humanity…

“She deface herself… “

She is harmful for herself because she let’s in toxic people,
She is dangerous for herself because she never says no,
She is unsuitable for herself because she let’s people walk all over her;
You must think it’s her fault to not take stand for herself,
But let me tell you that the little her couldn’t think for herself,
The little her searched love in pain,
The little her believed that being hurt was good and normal,
Because it came from ‘them’;
‘Them’were the people with whom she started her life.
How do you expect that she would have questioned her blood,
So, now that’s how it all hardwired in her brain.
She is not unfamiliar with the terrible mishap;
And she knows that she is in love with pain…

“A Life To Live”

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Our average life span in this human body is around 69-71 years which I hope would increase with medical advancement, research and better living conditions.

‘To live’ is very different than to just exist in this universe. To live is completely different than mechanically pass the seconds, hours, days, months, even years. I don’t know about others but I feel disappointed every time I look back to an ending year and cannot recollect times when I felt significantly alive, when I felt lucky to be present on this beautiful planet earth.

I have to admit that I had misconception about the term ‘to live’ or ‘to feel alive’. I honestly thought and believed that living includes only the part of life where I am smiling, laughing, feeling passionate, spending time with loved ones, having the blissful moments of being loved and to love.

I guess it’s no one’s fault to feel that way as we all are influenced by our surrounding world. Sadly our world has stereotypical viewpoint towards the terms ‘to live’ or ‘to feel alive’, which impacts our thought process.

From my experience, the times when I am absolutely miserable are the times I feel most alive… But how is that? You may ask.

Those are the times when importance of breathing becomes more apparent as my heart feels heavier than a rock and the gravity has more value and power that works best to keep me down on my bed. It even makes it impossible to get up and have a glass of water myself.  

Those unbearable moments seem to amplify and do not seem to follow universal laws of time. It sounds a horrible place to be at but if I see those times from an unbiased eye, as a third person, I realize that in those moments, I built my strength and courage. I fought hard to live even if it seemed pointless. It made me resilient and it made me who I am: A fighter and a survivor.  

I am fan of all the easy, rewarding moments of my life but the times that broke me are the real heroes and inspiration that made me feel pain but made me realize that I exist. They shook me hard but to make me even sturdier. 

Maybe we should all stop running from the painful, lonely, discomforting moments of life because these will only build our characters and make us more grateful of what we have: “A life to live”  

“What is hope? “

What is hope, I always wonder,
What it is not, that I can tell but
What it is, is hard to pin down.
It is not a confirmation of future,
But it is faith in it,
Hope is not to know that things will happen how you want them now,
But having a belief that they will work out as they need to ,
For you to grow into a stronger person.
Hope can’t come by self doubt,
Because meaning of life starts from you.
Hope can come by becoming self reliant and by taking charge of the situation.
Hope doesn’t belongs to those who let themselves push around by other’s will and opinions.
Hope belongs to those who are brave enough to stand right when everyone is wrong.
The power of hope is not when everything goes perfectly as you imagined,
But the power of hope is when you rise above from a completely hostile situation.
Those who are enjoying are definitely bearer of hope but those who are struggling and enduring are creator of hope.

“The Mesmerizing Hell”

Keep going on,
Keep feeling it,
It will continue till you can’t take it anymore,
Because you are going through hell.
What you can do best is to keep going on,
Because staying at one point of it will increase your end time,
So keep going on through hell,
Feel the heartbreak,
Feel the unseen bruises,
Feel the loneliness,
Feel the helplessness;
You should keep going on through hell,
Not because you will cease in the end of it,
But because you will begin at the end of the hell…
Your struggles will Break you but they are the ones that will make you braver,
You will fall down but as you persevere you will reach unthinkable heights,
You will be lonely but it will make you self reliant ;
Before you know you will reach your content state;
So go on through the hell,
Because you will begin at the end of hell…

“Weary gut “

You won’t know the dark sadness of my lonely heart,
I would say, you won’t want to know how it feels to have such dreadful thoughts.
Searching for the rush people dive from the mountain cliff,
I get rush from the stress of my burning heart.
The loneliness of my gut is something I can never explain,
I miss you more because you make me more sane.
I have you in my heart and it smiles like the morning sky,
But my heart is afraid because it has never been this joyful before;
It always wait in terror to be all taken away…

Hours of darkness : Part 2

Night Speaks To Me,
The Words That Echoes In My Heart,
It Is Like A Scared Little Girl,
Who Is Afraid Of The Dark.
Night Opens Up The Door Of The Past,
It Is A Haunting Song
That Is Stuck In The Heart.
Night Talks To Me About
Our Fears And Secrets,
It Questions Me If
They Would Come True…
I Am Pretty Sure
It Is Not Intentional,
Night Is Just Like A Little Girl,
Afraid Of The Unknown.
I Comfort Myself And The Night
As We Both Are Anxious,
That I Am With You Forever
And You Won’t Leave My Side.
What Is The Fear And
Why To Be Afraid,
When We Always Find
A Way Back To Each Other
No Matter No One Stays,
We Come Back For This Time,
We Come Back To Despair,
We Come Back To Solitude,
We Come Back To Dark Thoughts
That No one Dares To Express…
-Sylie

” Apathetic Truth”

The Sun Still Rise Even
When My Soul Is Too Tired To Wake Up,
The Darkness Of The Night Still Arrives Even
When I Want To Keep Living
A Beautiful Day Of Bliss;
Never Have I Ever Seen A Justice So Unbiased,
That Is Sturdy Even If The World Is Ending…